History
2017 - SOUTHERN ENGLAND - Celts 8.5, England 16.5
Southern England
Another year another Celtic hammering.
2016 - COSTA DEL SOL, Spain - Celts 10, England 15
Costa Del Golf
Another year another big loss for the Celts!
2015 - La Manga, Spain - Celts 17, England 18
La Manga South
Finally, a tour without rain, so Spain got a big thumbs up. First time the same course was played twice in a qualifying round. La Manga proved a top venue. From memory - Jonny and Spackers got lost walking home, there was a seperate tour four, we had massive night of kareoke where Browner performed amazingly (whilst singing terribly). A lot of people abused their bodies quite badly and had very little sleep but somehow still managed to perform at golf.
Ali (Celt Captain) kept all his limbs, but had a disagreement about a Bridgestone with Talbot (England Captain), which ultimately may have cost the Celts the victory (or maybe not). This has gone down as 'ball-gate' and is likely to be talked about for many years to come (particularly by Ali). Streety was unhappy about only getting a half in a walkover match, but this led to his overall victory, with a massive comeback on the final day. The founding fathers were also established and Nashy and Spackers exploited this at every opportunity. The story in pictures is below.
Ali (Celt Captain) kept all his limbs, but had a disagreement about a Bridgestone with Talbot (England Captain), which ultimately may have cost the Celts the victory (or maybe not). This has gone down as 'ball-gate' and is likely to be talked about for many years to come (particularly by Ali). Streety was unhappy about only getting a half in a walkover match, but this led to his overall victory, with a massive comeback on the final day. The founding fathers were also established and Nashy and Spackers exploited this at every opportunity. The story in pictures is below.
2014 - Algarve, Portugal - Celts 10.5, England 19.5
Gramacho
Needless to say- it rained even in Portugal and England adapted to the environment better. Celts got hammered! Was the tour with no sleep, Garrett got arrested (again!) and Ali nearly lost an eye after buying at least 30 jaeger bombs, losing his way home and coming home covered in his own vomit. Luke cooled himself down by throwing his own pint over his head. Spackers booked a restaurant on a different continent. Boycey puked in the car park before play on day 3. Fitzy hit two air shots on the first tee as he was so pissed and then found and wore a bin bag for half his round to help keep him dry. Steve and Cass nearly set fire to the villa / caused death by carbon monoxide using a log burner. Cass got blisters so played barefoot and found out he had monkey feet. Murray and Stockton put a £1k bet on a game of table tennis cos Stockton didn’t want the English to lose face (still to be played). Some of the early scores were outrageous and then the last round was ridiculously difficult. Good times but left learning that we have to play in the afternoon and 36 holes in one day is a bit much on tour. The story is best played out in the pictures below.
2013 - Swansea - Celts 11.5, England 13.5
Royal Porthcawl
The main memory from Swansea was the
temperature, which combined with the windchill felt like minus 20, with
horizontal rain and 40 mph winds greeting our first day at Porthcawl. This led
to many suggestions of going abroad in 2014. In summary:
England won, the weather was shocking. Luke got hammered on Saturday night and nearly got punched for mistakenly bumming a massive stranger who he thought was Talbot. Spackers and Streety had a lot to say about handicaps and then Spackers went and won overall off his massive bandit handicap. Chappers and Tony Williams lost in a FBBB match to Dan Nash despite him only scoring 11 points. England purchased some lovely team shirts which never saw the light of day under the 6 layers of clothing required. We nearly got kicked out of the hotel on the first night as we were too noisy, Garrett nearly got arrested after snorting tequila and then abusing everyone in the hotel. Guru brought the policewoman into my room to listen to my snoring. Spackers was awful at bowling for the fourth year in a row. Chappers lost again to Webby in the singles and has now lost to him 3 times from 4. Taff fell in a bush after a night out and struggled to get out. Oli Leett and McGaw went AWOL out the final night as they were too tired and stayed in bed cuddling watching you, me and Dupree (a tour low point!). Guru broke his ankle just walking and then still won the final round at Ashburnham (what a hero). Moray the captain arrived with what can only be described as TB and then seemed to pass it on to half of the group, who took the next week off work sick. Saturday saw the first crazy outfit day and Ali / Guru were sporting particularly special trousers, although it was a fine effort from all. England won 13.5 to 11.5, Spackers won overall, Guru gained the silver salver and Moray Bronze medal.
England won, the weather was shocking. Luke got hammered on Saturday night and nearly got punched for mistakenly bumming a massive stranger who he thought was Talbot. Spackers and Streety had a lot to say about handicaps and then Spackers went and won overall off his massive bandit handicap. Chappers and Tony Williams lost in a FBBB match to Dan Nash despite him only scoring 11 points. England purchased some lovely team shirts which never saw the light of day under the 6 layers of clothing required. We nearly got kicked out of the hotel on the first night as we were too noisy, Garrett nearly got arrested after snorting tequila and then abusing everyone in the hotel. Guru brought the policewoman into my room to listen to my snoring. Spackers was awful at bowling for the fourth year in a row. Chappers lost again to Webby in the singles and has now lost to him 3 times from 4. Taff fell in a bush after a night out and struggled to get out. Oli Leett and McGaw went AWOL out the final night as they were too tired and stayed in bed cuddling watching you, me and Dupree (a tour low point!). Guru broke his ankle just walking and then still won the final round at Ashburnham (what a hero). Moray the captain arrived with what can only be described as TB and then seemed to pass it on to half of the group, who took the next week off work sick. Saturday saw the first crazy outfit day and Ali / Guru were sporting particularly special trousers, although it was a fine effort from all. England won 13.5 to 11.5, Spackers won overall, Guru gained the silver salver and Moray Bronze medal.
2012 - Nottingham - Celts 12.5, England 12.5
Notts Hollinwell
Another tight fought contest came down to the
wire and to the very last group on the last day. The tour featured two rookies
in Giles and Talbot as well as two returning players from the original tour in
Monkey and Tony Williams. England were led from the off by their inspirational
leader Webby (“its cost me a fortune being captain”) wearing matching outfits
throughout as well as matching pitchmark repairers, team huddles, tactics and
secret meetings. The Celts were led by Guru with a slightly more hands off (useless)
approach. This seemed to work to the English advantage with them displaying
admirable team spirit, whereas the Celtic team where dogged by in-fighting and
lack of respect for the captain. The English stormed into a 3-2 lead at Notts,
playing the superior golf, although all games were fairly close going through
at least the 16th. A Chapman clean sweep occurred on the prizes –
Roger first, Tony second and Dave in third to a chorus of jealous boos.
Day 2 at Coxmoor the English again came out all guns blazing. They had three large wins including the notable thrashing of the Celt team captain by 6 and 4 achieved through a fourball better ball score of 50 points. This led to a tirade of deserved abuse from Chappers and Guru. The Celts team moral was low and a sea of red was seen on the board inspiring Scott to shoot 41 points and get severely cut in the process (“cant believe I get cut to 1”). The second day score was 3 ½ to 1 ½ giving the English a healthy 3 point lead at the halfway stage. Webby, whilst trying to prove that he could do a press up, was most satisfied. Guru was receiving much abuse from his own team so went off to sulk / cheer himself up with some ironing.
Day 3 was played in Spackers favourite format of combined stableford points, and the Celts managed to severely dent the English challenge by winning the day 4-1, only Ali and Basil losing in the last group. Guru and Moray apologised to Basil profusely for pairing him with Ali who’s confidence was destroyed by this point having lost all 3 of his opening games. Tony Chapman won a 1st prize and a big handicap cut with 40 points, although still somehow lost his match. On Saturday night Luke peaked showing that he is actually a monkey by climbing the hotel stairs and following this up by teabagging the team captain. In an effort to contribute, Ali decided to sabotage Spackers bed whilst Spackers was collecting duvets, although Dan Nash, wrestling with Spackers for some time, was really not in the mood to give his up.
At Lindrick we had the course to ourselves and the scores were evenly poised at 7 points all with 10 singles games to play. Guru through some more inspired captaincy put out Chappers and Basil first who both duly got stuffed. Webby was 5 up through 5 holes against Chappers and got his team off to the perfect start. Wins followed for Streety and Scott to put the English in charge at 3 matches up, a half for Abdul against Ali (his first contribution!) and a win for Spackers followed and they had a seemingly unassailable 4 point lead after 5 completed games. Webby and Streety had one hand on the trophy, willing the remaining players on – one more point and the trophy was back with the English. News was filtering through that the groups behind had some strong celtic leads, so things were tense. Moray, Taff and Tony W then each delivered a point and it all came down to the final group. Both matches were heading down the last and could have gone either way, however the Celts were up in both matches so only two lost 18th holes could stop them from at least retaining the trophy. First up Luke pipped Talbot on the last in a thrillingly poor quality match (18 pts to 17 pts), then Giles and James halved their match and so that was it, the match was over and the Celts and English had tied. This meant that the Celts had retained the trophy and Guru was most pleased. Taff had his best game of the week after three solid nights of drinking, scoring 35 points on the final day.
The Champion Golfer was Tony Chapman despite a dramatic last day collapse, silver salver went to Taff and bronze medal to Moray. Ali departed a broken man, much like Spackers from the year before and vowed to work on his game. Top Matchplay performers for the English were Scott and Webby (leading from the front) with 3 points from 4 and top for the Celts were Luke, Moray and Tony Williams with 3 points. Nashers would have won most improved golfer had this prize existed. All agreed that this was the best tour so far and after many man hugs we all departed home completely broken.
Day 2 at Coxmoor the English again came out all guns blazing. They had three large wins including the notable thrashing of the Celt team captain by 6 and 4 achieved through a fourball better ball score of 50 points. This led to a tirade of deserved abuse from Chappers and Guru. The Celts team moral was low and a sea of red was seen on the board inspiring Scott to shoot 41 points and get severely cut in the process (“cant believe I get cut to 1”). The second day score was 3 ½ to 1 ½ giving the English a healthy 3 point lead at the halfway stage. Webby, whilst trying to prove that he could do a press up, was most satisfied. Guru was receiving much abuse from his own team so went off to sulk / cheer himself up with some ironing.
Day 3 was played in Spackers favourite format of combined stableford points, and the Celts managed to severely dent the English challenge by winning the day 4-1, only Ali and Basil losing in the last group. Guru and Moray apologised to Basil profusely for pairing him with Ali who’s confidence was destroyed by this point having lost all 3 of his opening games. Tony Chapman won a 1st prize and a big handicap cut with 40 points, although still somehow lost his match. On Saturday night Luke peaked showing that he is actually a monkey by climbing the hotel stairs and following this up by teabagging the team captain. In an effort to contribute, Ali decided to sabotage Spackers bed whilst Spackers was collecting duvets, although Dan Nash, wrestling with Spackers for some time, was really not in the mood to give his up.
At Lindrick we had the course to ourselves and the scores were evenly poised at 7 points all with 10 singles games to play. Guru through some more inspired captaincy put out Chappers and Basil first who both duly got stuffed. Webby was 5 up through 5 holes against Chappers and got his team off to the perfect start. Wins followed for Streety and Scott to put the English in charge at 3 matches up, a half for Abdul against Ali (his first contribution!) and a win for Spackers followed and they had a seemingly unassailable 4 point lead after 5 completed games. Webby and Streety had one hand on the trophy, willing the remaining players on – one more point and the trophy was back with the English. News was filtering through that the groups behind had some strong celtic leads, so things were tense. Moray, Taff and Tony W then each delivered a point and it all came down to the final group. Both matches were heading down the last and could have gone either way, however the Celts were up in both matches so only two lost 18th holes could stop them from at least retaining the trophy. First up Luke pipped Talbot on the last in a thrillingly poor quality match (18 pts to 17 pts), then Giles and James halved their match and so that was it, the match was over and the Celts and English had tied. This meant that the Celts had retained the trophy and Guru was most pleased. Taff had his best game of the week after three solid nights of drinking, scoring 35 points on the final day.
The Champion Golfer was Tony Chapman despite a dramatic last day collapse, silver salver went to Taff and bronze medal to Moray. Ali departed a broken man, much like Spackers from the year before and vowed to work on his game. Top Matchplay performers for the English were Scott and Webby (leading from the front) with 3 points from 4 and top for the Celts were Luke, Moray and Tony Williams with 3 points. Nashers would have won most improved golfer had this prize existed. All agreed that this was the best tour so far and after many man hugs we all departed home completely broken.
2011 - Liverpool - Celts 14, England 11
Formby
In 2011, England defended their trophy against the Celts on Merseyside, the matchplay was expanded to four days and the teams extended to 10 a side. A number of rookies were making their debuts and big match nerves were all over their faces in the ‘war room’ before play. Chappers got to improve his spreadsheet which kept him happy for months, Webby was very complimentary on its design. Moray was left with the responsibility of the first tee shot on the opening day and visibly shaking got the tournament underway. From the outset it was clear that the Celts had built up a fine team spirit and camaraderie and they never surrendered their lead, winning the first day 4-1, the second day 3-2, whilst the third day was halved. Although the English put up a strong fight in the singles winning 5.5 to 4.5, the trophy was lifted by the Celts for the first time setting a new championship world record winning margin of 3 points. Honourable mentions go to Streety and Guru for being the only players to win every game. Guru made a controversial switch from England to the Celts and unfortunately for everyone on the tour is the only player to have been in the winning side twice. Young pup Abdul won the 4 day stableford competition, getting cut to +1 in the process. Spackers departed a broken man having relinquished the trophy losing all of his matches and finishing ranked 19th out of 20. England requested a change in captaincy for the following year!
2010 - Bournemouth - England 9, Celts 7
Isle of Purbeck
The Anglo-Celtic Cup started with an idea to play some of the best courses in the UK, improved with the idea of a Ryder cup style competition and then became a tour to commiserate turning 30. Bournemouth was selected for the first tour and so 16 brave souls competed in the inaugural Big 3-0 trophy with Celtic Warriors taking on the England Lions. Chappers was very excited that he got to put together a lovely spreadsheet. The opening round was a one-off competition which was won by bandit Dan Cullen. The Friday kicked off the opening round of the Matchplay tournament and saw the English gain a one point lead. The Celts fought back on day two, winning by two points to take a one point lead into the singles on the final day. It was nip and tuck throughout the day, however the English teams greater strength in depth told as they closed out the day winning 5.5 points from 8 matches and taking the trophy by 9 points to 7. Luke Gallagher was player of the tournament winning 3 out of 3 matches and Spackers raised the trophy whilst unbearably gloating. Honourable mention to Monkey for contributing nothing to the team. The 3 day stableford competition was won by Chappers, with Guru in 2nd place and Luke in third. Everyone agreed that much fun was had, and so an annual event was born.